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REPORT: Poles & Eberflus played Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide who’s ‘boss’ in draft room.

Updated: May 9, 2022



In their first year at their new positions, Poles & Eberflus didn't have much to work with.

Poles and Eberflus did so much work to get as much capital as they can before the draft, that they forgot to discuss who will make the final decision. An hour before the draft, an unnamed source in the draft room said that Poles and Eberflus had a conversation right before the draft which later escalated into a screaming match. The argument was so bad the two had to be separated by Chairman George McCaskey. during the seperation, McCaskey took a fall and was quickly rushed to the hospital. Poles and Eberflus’s concerns quickly turned to McCaskey’s health and they decided to just play Rock Paper Scissors.

McCaskey (left),Poles (middle) and Eberflus (Right)
McCaskey’s fall


This may sound like a quick and easy resolution and solution to decide on who is going to make the final call, but during the practice trials of the game Eberflus insisted that it’s “rock paper scissors shoot” and Poles argued it’s “ Rock paper scissors, and you shoot on scissors” and claimed “there’s no shoot In rock paper scissors“. They then flipped a coin to decide which way they will play. Chicago Bear’s President Ted Phillips pulled out a quarter and proceeded to flip the coin, and told Poles to call it. While the coin was in the air the coin was in the air, Eberflus screamed out “Why do you get to calit?”. Ted Phillips quickly wrote both names on a separate piece of paper, folded it and drew Ryan Pole’s name first, inevitably making Eberflus second. (Yes, Ted Phillips made sure he got his coin back)


President Ted Phillips flipping the coin


Poles called tails insisting that it never fails, leaving Eberflus with heads. The coin landed heads and the two proceeded on to play ”best of 3“ for Rock Paper Scissors. The coach won the first round choosing Scissors which cut the GM’s paper. Poles was “Pissed” as they continued to the second round where the Coach won again by choosing Rock, smashing the GM’s scissors.

What we all thought was over wasn’t, when Poles said “Best of 7 since there’s 7 rounds“. Everybody in the draft room was aggravated, stating there was only 5 minutes before the draft started. Eberflus luckily agreed right away in sheer confidence he’s win just 2 more. Everyone else in the draft room let out a breath of air as Poles ended up winning the 3rd and 4th round by going Rock twice against Eberflus’s scissors; making it 2-2. Poles’s confidence was back, he was on a heater. The 5th round on their first attempt both shot scissors and went again, they both shot rock. This had them both playing mental games with themselves, on the 3rd attempt in the 5th round Poles went scissors, Eberflus went paper. 3-2 POLES. Eberflus looked down, but not out. He ended up winning the 6th and 7th round going back to back paper vs Poles‘s rock. The coach won & Eberflus was the final leader.


Eberflus is a defensive guy, which makes sense why they would use both 2nd round picks on defense and not focusing on the offense until the 3rd round. Many wonder how the draft could've went down if Poles had the final say, but I guess we will never know.


@realmikeybets

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