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Please Respect Michael Jordan’s Rebrand

Updated: Jul 6, 2022

(Parody of Mia Khalifa’s rebrand article)

“Is this fun? Is this what I worked so hard for?” Business owner Michael Jordan asks hI’m self. He’s pondering as he waits for a cigar and bourbon, in disbelief on how far he’s come: “I have six rings. What is this?”


Less than 20 years ago, He left the NBA and swore he‘d never come back. It’s not the city where he started her career — but it is where, for a time, his career started to ruin his life.


In 1984, 21 and fresh out of college, Jordan moved to Chicago because he got drafted there. Jordan , got the starting job, but his priority was getting to the playoffs . He reasoned that the team might not have been as good as he’d hoped for, but Chicago was compromise between affordability and caliber of talent. That practicality had guided jim before: Jordan, who was born in Brokklyn and grew up in a North Carolina, went to the University of North Carolina because he was good at basketball and so is NC.



The NBA is no stranger to shoes and branding , but the exposure the NBA TV Contract was, and arguably still is, unprecedented. In less than 13 years , Jordan had won 6 rings and was known as the greatest basketball to ever walk this earth.”



He quit playing before the scandal of the 94 season. Attempts to take cover on other jobs like Baseball player or conventional jobs like Restaurant owner and Cigar companies were doomed. Though he grew a weird mustache and started wearing weird clothes, co-workers and clients alike made it clear that they’d seen him on play basketball before . He says the behavior was so disruptive that one employer, a country club, stopped letting members into the office.

Today, his circumstances are very different. Jordan, now very old, is only approached by the restaurant’s staff during multi-hour meal, and, though his fame has grown exponentially, any diners who recognize him keep it to themselves. He deleted his Instagram account and all other social media. He alone controls has joined and associated himself with companies like Hanes, Liquor brands, golf balls and so much more.

Jordan strictly wants to be known as a shoe owner and never to be realized as Just some basketball player. The world should respect that and so should you. If not you’re evil and should be shamed.

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